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Jul. 15th, 2008 | 06:47 pm
location: Singapore
mood: contemplativecontemplative
music: Whirring fans, passing cars

I remember when I first learnt about excuses. It was when I was very young (but I don't remember how young).

The years before that, I lived in a bleak world of consequences and responsibility. If I did something wrong, then I was responsible for it. That was it. If I didn't do something I was supposed to do and someone asked me why, there was nothing I could say. All I could do was squirm and accept that I was wrong.

But that didn't last forever. I noticed others using some kind of magic words that made other people think they weren't responsible. I would see person A accuse person B, and person B would say "blah blah blah", and person A would say "Oh, that's ok then. It's not your fault". I knew that I had to discover what these magic words were and use them for myself!

Learning took a lot of trial and error, and a lot of failures. The first excuses I used didn't work at all.

"Have you washed the dishes?"
"Um, I didn't remember to wash the dishes?" <-- Attempt to evade responsibility
"You didn't remember? Do them right now!" <-- Responsibility not evaded! Fail!

"Where's your assignment?"
"I didn't have time to do it." <-- Use whiny voice for this
"You got the assignment 2 weeks ago! You couldn't find time in all those 2 weeks?" <-- FAIL!

But I would study what others said, and gradually I learnt the tricks. I learnt about tiredness, sickness, about the forgiveness usually offered for a first offense. I learnt in what situations what people would allow me to give up my responsibliity and used this knowledge to my full advantage.

And I still do now.

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