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States of mind

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Jul. 5th, 2006 | 03:24 pm
mood: chipperchipper
music: Tool live in Austria (g'day mate)

Sometimes I approach the piano to play, and my mind is racing. I am going to play because I want to avoid something, and I think that playing will make me feel better. Usually when I try to play in that state, I find that I don't enjoy it at all. I play without caring, and I am barely aware of what I am playing. Often I will give up on playing one piece and switch to another because I'm frustrated at not being able to play it perfectly.

Perhaps it's better that I don't play when in such a state. Maybe it's better for me to calm myself down. But it's difficult to realize that I am in that state when I am in it. Hmm.. perhaps I can use my reaction to piano playing as a method to determine that I am in that state :)

Other times I play, and my approach is completely different. My mind is easily distracted, but I still enjoy playing. It's a totally different experience from exactly the same activity.

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