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Apr. 18th, 2005 | 05:04 pm
mood: determineddetermined
music: Nina Simone

I am now officially (more or less) working for Trellian! It seems they have plenty of work for me, so I am starting now. The thesis is STILL not done, but I am spending most of my time waiting for feedback from my supervisors. Given the situation, I might as well start working now rather than spending time playing games or browsing the web.

I have not done the homework for my Landmark Forum In Action (LFIA) series yet.. my homework (any landmark graduates wanting bonus points might want to try these out) is:

- Look where I am not making promises
- Look at why I resist being in integrity
- Convert things that I want to achieve out of LFIA from wants into possibilities
- Enrol 5 people into my possibility
- Invite someone to the introduction

The next session (and the introduction) is tomorrow, so that doesn't give me much time :) I have done item 2, and have thought a little about items 1 and 3. I have failed to enrol anyone for item 4, and have not even tried item 5 :) That is where it is at right now. Against my possibility, this is definitely a breakdown. So I ask myself, "Does it really matter?", which is my way of getting out of things which I said I would do. And the answer is that it matters if I want control over my life. If I am happy to live out of automatic reactions, then it doesn't matter. If I want something more, then it does matter.

That is all for today then.. the possibility I have chosen is "doing what works". Within that possibility, there is no room for placing myself before others, and no room for listening to my fear. I am keeping that possibility present at all times so it can empower me. And it is helping a lot :) Still, I see that I am not who my possibility says that I am. But then again, that is the way it should be. If I was not being expanded by my possibility, it would not be a possibility :)

Now back to work :)

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